Your eyes have a lot of power, especially when it comes to love. Having a passionate gaze with another can boost your chances of love, as noted by Dr. Jeremy Nicholson in his recent piece in Psychology Today. Holding eye contact with another not only piques someone’s initial interest, but can also ignite feelings of passion and increase attraction. (as long as it’s not one of those stalker-ish ‘I want to kill you stares’).

In an experiment, researchers paired up strangers of the opposite sex and instructed them to either gaze at their partner’s hands, eyes, or count their partner’s eye blinks for two minutes. After doing so, couples who participated in the mutual eye gazing reported stronger feelings towards one another than any other group. Not just that, but they also admitted to having higher feelings of affection, passion and a general liking for their partner.

The research results prove how important having good eye contact with others can be. It goes beyond just getting that hot guy or girl’s attention at the bar. Having good eye contact with a lover can even help build, maintain or rekindle feelings of passion and love. As Nicholson says, if this works on random partners in a study, imagine what it can do for the relationship you’re already in or want to be in.

Eyes are the windows to our souls, or so they say. We can learn a lot about how someone feels about us just from their eyes. Take the pupil: it’s the one area of body language we have no control over. Science shows that pupils will dilate when someone is interested in us or like what we are talking about. Mutual eye contact is also critical in being a good communicator and good communication is crucial in relationships.

So whether it’s a first or fortieth date, pay attention to your gaze. It has more romantic power than you realize…

–Ashley M. Papa