Cheating is cheating, right?
Well, that depends if you’re a man or a woman.
A new study published by Taylor & Francis Group in Sexual & Relationship Therapy reveals the different ways in which men and women perceive infidelity. We all know the damage infidelity can do but when the sexes see cheating differently, that’s a problem in and of itself.
For the experiment, researchers asked hundreds of young men and women to complete an online questionnaire, which categorized infidelity in three ways – sexual infidelity, intimate infidelity, and fantasy infidelity.
The authors of the study found that, “women were more likely than men to identify both sexual-based and emotion-based acts as constituting infidelity.”
Men, find greater distress in sexual infidelity, overall because according to researchers, men fear that a woman’s sexual infidelity would result in the man having to provide for children who are not his own, and women fear that a man’s emotional infidelity would result in him providing for the other woman and not her.
The findings also suggest that women being more likely to identify certain acts as infidelity is unsurprising given that the women scored higher than the men on measures of communion—the extent to which a person wants to form and maintain positive interpersonal bonds.
So, what one partner may perceive as an act of infidelity, the other may perceive as a harmless act. The researchers say, “knowing what your partner believes to be infidelity could potentially save a relationship if both partners understand each other’s perspective.”
* Read the full article online: http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681994.2016.1196290
Many people draw their own lines when it comes to what constitutes as cheating. Both men and women’s ideas of what cheating is can stretch from having sex with another person or even just looking at someone else. And then there’s technology, which has given people even more avenues to potentially wander.
So given all the different ways one can be unfaithful, what do men and women really classify as cheating these days? Behold the great cheating poll, courtesy of yougov.com. After polling married couples, results show that while men and women largely agree that having sex crosses the line, women are more likely than men to view other things as being cheating. According to the poll, 74% of women believe that “sexting” amounts to cheating. 59% of men agree.
And when it comes to emotional versus physical cheating, 56% of women consider non-physical relationships cheating, while 38% of men do. (yes, that means having a close female friend)
Here’s the poll:
There’s more. YouGov also found who is just thinking about cheating and who is actually doing it more. 41% of men say they have thought about cheating on their partners, while 39% said they never have. 54% of women say they’ve never thought about cheating and 28% have. When it comes to who is actually committing infidelity, one-fifth of men and women (about 21% and 19%) say they have cheated on their partner.
Wait, there is even more. When it comes to WHY people cheat, dissatisfaction with the relationship was the main reason. The cheaters report being emotionally deprived and/or being dissatisfied with their sex life. There’s even a large chunk that admit they were just flattered by the attention.
Some people even blame their genes for their philandering behavior. And, there is that recent study that shows men are more likely to cheat if their wives earn more money than they do. Maybe what we really learn from these studies is that people will blame everything but themselves for their cheating behavior. Regardless of what these studies say about cheating and who’s doing what and when with whom, hopefully the person you end up with values you and the relationship enough to not cheat, but rather talk things out or just end things completely before moving on to someone else.
-Ashley M. Papa
Pay attention to your partner’s finger length, if you want to know if they’ll stay or stray. And all along I thought the size of a guy’s ring finger determined something else…
According to a study done by Oxford University researchers, despite one’s intentions, some are just simply inclined to cheat. They determined this by looking at finger length. The longer the ring finger is compared to the index finger, the higher the level of testosterone exposure there was in the womb, which is linked to a higher chance of promiscuity. (See unmanicured image below)
Says one researcher: “While not predictive of individual behavior, the length of the ring finger versus the index finger can help identify the group of people who are more likely to be promiscuous.”
This study combined with a questionnaire given to participants, finds that 53% of women and 43% of men are more likely to be faithful, while 57% of men and 47% of women are more inclined to be promiscuous.
So, again we have another study to make women paranoid that their mate may be cheating on them.
Researchers add that the findings may also suggest humans fall into two distinct groups within each sex based on mating strategies: those that stay faithful and those that don’t.
But remember that one’s human behavior is determined by many factors, like their upbringing, environment, life experience, beliefs, etc.
Looks like the study would rate me borderline promiscuous…
–Ashley M. Papa
As if the stress of the big day isn’t enough. Now, women need to worry about their fiancés being unfaithful at their bachelor parties.
That’s according to this recent survey that says one-third of all grooms-to-be cheat at their bachelor parties.
The survey also found that 92% of men lie about their cheating for the duration of their marriage. That’s because an overwhelming majority of women don’t approve of the guidelines set by men at their bachelor parties. One woman saying “If I found out my ex cheated, there would be no wedding.”
And, since cheating is viewed differently by the sexes, men may not even consider their bachelor party shenanigans cheating, especially if they claim to have been so drunk. (always an excuse)
As one sex therapist puts it: “Men cheat on a physical level, not an emotional level. They see it as a final hurrah to the single life before they make this huge commitment. It doesn’t mean they don’t love their fiancés.”
Ugh…“A final hurrah in the single life”? If you’re about to get married, you’re not single! And seriously?… “It doesn’t mean they don’t love their fiances”? If you love someone, why would you hurt and go behind their back by cheating?
And to the brides-to-be, if you have concerns that your guy is going to be unfaithful right before he enters into marriage, you may need to reconsider who you are marrying.
–Ashley M. Papa