If you’re wondering why a relationship failed or why one didn’t seem to launch with a particular person you clicked with, it may not be you or them. It may have been your credit scores.
New data from the Federal Reserve shows that credit scores—or whatever personal qualities credit scores might indicate—actually play a big role in whether people will form and/or stay in committed relationships.
Someone who takes care of themselves and is healthy financially is more likely to be healthy emotionally and more grounded, says sex and relationship coach, Tatiana Dellepiane. “A grounded person can be in a healthy relationship. Honoring your commitments and taking care of your own life is the new sexy,” she says.
One’s credit score number is supposed to reflect the risk of lending money to someone, based mostly on their past financial history of borrowing and paying off debts. The number is often used by landlords, employers and many businesses to evaluate whether someone is financially responsible and can often say a lot about a person’s character.
That said, the Feds may be right in advising daters to use this same metric when searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right.
After analyzing millions of randomly selected U.S. consumers from the credit reporting agency Equifax over a 15 year period, researchers found that people with higher credit scores are likely to form committed relationships and marriages and then stay in them. In addition, how well the couple’s credit score matched, is also a good predictor of whether they’ll stay together in the long term.
Experts point to 3 potential reasons for the findings:
• Credit scores can provide an obstacle for couples as it’s the lower score of the two people that credit agencies use. This can place limits on what kind of lifestyle a person can have. “Women and men want to date someone with a high credit score because then they feel safe to build a future together. They can purchase a house or a car together. Healthy financials signal possibilities,” says Dellepiane.
• Low or significantly different scores can right away signal financial stress down the road of life. Are your partner’s student loans paid off? Have they ever defaulted on any other loans or filed for bankruptcy? Their money problems could become yours.
• Credit scores can reflect something deeper about one’s personal qualities and relationship skills. How one handles their money can be a good indicator of how they’ll handle you. “How you are in sex is how you are in life. Same goes for money. When you activate your sexual energy center in your body, you feel more empowered and you make the right choices for yourself. The more that you are in touch with yourself and empowered in your body, the more you take full responsibility of your financial situation,” says Dellepiane.
It makes a person more confident and secure knowing their finances are in check. If a date has poor credit and bad finances, they may feel that dating is just another financial burden. And, if this potential partner isn’t secure enough in their finances to be dating you, forget about them wanting to start a family.
Says Dellepiane: “If you were to date someone with a low credit score, then you would want to make sure and fully understand that they are aware of their financial issues, and actively working to improve them, because credit scores can improve.”
Talking about finances and credit scores may seem invasive in the beginning and perhaps asking, “what’s your credit score” isn’t as sexy as “what’s your favorite food”, but it’s probably a better indicator of whether that relationship is going to last or not.