Is Red Really The Best Color To Attract A Man?

What is it about the color red that makes us think about love and sex?

In a recent article published in Psychology Today, one professor explains that red is the ideal color to wear on a first date, citing recent studies. Researchers found that in non-human primate species, like baboons and chimpanzees, females would display red on their bodies when they were fertile and ready to mate. This red display would then increase attraction behavior in the male counterparts.

But are humans affected the same way by the color red when it comes to romance? In two different studies that tested whether men were more attracted to a woman in red, one experiment found that when given a choice, men were more likely to ask the woman in red more intimate questions than when the same woman was wearing a green shirt. And in a different study, men were more likely to position their chair closer to the woman’s, when they believed the woman they were meeting would be wearing red.

It looks like women can learn a thing or two from the baboons if we want to attract more men.

Not so fast.

Linda Lauren, a fourth-generation psychic medium, color & energy consultant, says the color red is the most misunderstood and that it is actually society, not the color, that makes us think red indicates romantic thoughts. History is what turned red into meaning love, sex and romance.

“The color red is an alert color; getting people to notice something,” says Lauren.

Imagine if a STOP sign were baby blue. Or, those “red flags” we’re suppose to pay attention to (and often don’t) in dating were periwinkle.

Lauren says that red was a common color displayed in brothels, which date back to ancient times. Red was used to signal, manipulate and invite men to engage in sex with available prostitutes. There’s a reason it’s called the “RED light district”. Later on, people began seeing red as the color of the heart, which was then linked to love and romance.

So what color should you really be wearing to attract a guy? It depends on the signal you want to send to him.

Lauren suggests wearing a lighter color of red, like pink or mauve, with a touch of white or black. Lighter colors indicate you are looking for romance and something long term. Black and white are boundary colors. Combined, you give the impression you’re inviting them in, but not all the way.

Now if you want to come off more mysterious, wear black with accents of red.

“This shows that the date is just an introduction and leaves them wanting more. It shows that you are kind of interested and that you are looking for someone, but you are selective,” says Lauren.

Blue is the color of communication. It symbolizes verbalization and that you want your words to be heard and felt, adds Lauren. This may be a good color choice for date number two.

Now, if it is sex you want, by all means wear red. Darker shades indicate you’re ‘hot-to-trot’ so to speak, says Lauren.

Have you noticed men reacting a certain way to you in a specific color? Share your thoughts below!

-Ashley M. Papa

My Date With A Porn Star

One Sunday evening last spring, I had decided to leave the comforts of my 350 square foot, 1910 studio apartment in Hell’s Kitchen and go to a nearby bar to watch the Rangers game. I was by myself so took a seat at the bar in front of the television that was carrying the game. Next to me was a tan, bald yet attractive man with glasses. He turned and smiled when I sat, his teeth looking like perfectly lined chiclets. I smiled back.

I sipped on my wine. He sipped on his Guinness, occasionally commenting on Henrik Lundqvist’s saves. It was obvious he was a fellow Rangers fan. After a few plays and synchronized cheers and grumbles we started doing our own commentary on the game.

“I can’t believe Ryan Callahan missed that, it was the perfect set up.”

“The team doesn’t seem with it tonight. This always seems to happen after the Olympics” I commented back.

It was the end of the first period when the introductions began. (We’ll just call him Dax for the sake of this piece) Dax lived way uptown but was down in my hood because he had a “business meeting”.

Interesting. A meeting on a Sunday, I thought.

We continued to comment on the game together and at every commercial break, I would learn a little more about him. He was 42-years-old, grew up in Brooklyn and also loved to snowboard. We had several interests in common and he didn’t come across as a creeper even after finding out I was 14 years younger than him.

“So, what do you do for work?” Dax asked.

“Oh, I am just a writer. Media stuff,” I vaguely responded. “How about yourself?”

“I am an actor, actually.”

“Really? Anything I would know?”

“I doubt you have. But then again, I don’t really know what types of films you like to watch.”

I started thinking maybe it was all low budget Indies or off off off Broadway plays. My mind never drifted into what he told me next.

“Well, what kind of films do you do?”

“Adult,” he said in a way that made it sound like it was any old job.

I never would’ve expected to hear that and I was still trying to decipher if he was actually telling me the truth. But he came across so nice and normal, he sounded honest about it.

And he was. I was intrigued because I never met a porn star before. He had been doing it for about 12 years and before he got into adult films, he was a banker. He said he never thought his acting career would take this route, but it’s just how it ended up and he did well.

“So, do you only date coworkers or other porn stars?”

“Not really. I’m not really into the type of girls I work with.”

I continued to interrogate him with my questions. He must have been used to it or just felt really comfortable talking to me about it, because he answered everything. By now, I didn’t even know if the Rangers were winning or losing or if the game was over.

“Isn’t it hard to date girls not in your industry? How do they react when you tell them what you do?”

“Kind of like you. They ask a lot of questions. It isn’t easy, but it’s all about separating work and life.”

“Do you ever get sick of having sex? You know how like a mechanic hates fixing his own car?”

He laughed. “The sex I have on camera is not like the sex I have with a woman I love. It’s very different.”

Now he was getting deep.

“Do you ever lie and tell them you do something else?”

“No. It’s kind of something I have to tell women right away. If they’re not okay with it in the beginning, they won’t be okay with it if I break it to them months down the road. I wouldn’t want them thinking what I was doing was a form of cheating.”

Imagine that…honesty and loyalty.

I fleetingly wondered what sex would be like with a porn star. Acrobatic? Well lit? Would he play special background music? Was his member a rare thing of beauty? But of course, I’ve never been good at sharing.

My questions continued. I asked if he would ever stop doing it for a woman (depends on the woman, most likely no), if he ever feared getting a disease (no, they’re extremely safe and get tested frequently), what his family and friends thought (mom and dad aren’t aware of the specific type of acting, friends are cool with it). He continued to answer all my questions without any indication that he was getting annoyed by them, even admitting to his use of Viagra, but for work purposes only.

The Ranger’s game was now over. The Rangers won, I think. He picked up my tab, a few more drinks for us and then we went next door to a quieter wine bar, so I could continue probing him about his profession.

“So, is it true that you get your porn name by combining the name of your first pet with the street you grew up on?” (In that case, I would be Sabrina Van Holt)

He laughed and simply said “no”. I’m sure he got that all the time.

“Do you prefer doing girls with implants or au naturale?”

He laughed again.


It was starting to get late. I had now spent almost five hours with the porn star. Aside from the whole, having sex on camera for a living thing, he was one of the nicest and courteous men I’ve shared a drink with.

We went our separate ways at the end of the night, although I did give him my number to be friends only. He would occasionally text me throughout the rest of the hockey season when the Rangers were playing. I never did see him again. (And that goes for on screen, too)..but I wish the porn star well!

Ashley M. Papa

Do Genes Determine If We’ll Be Single?

Can’t seem to make a relationship work?

Do you sometimes think to yourself, “maybe I was just born to be single”?

Well, you just may be.

Scientists in Beijing have discovered a gene that makes some people just bad a relationships.

It’s appropriately being called the “Singleton Gene”.

Those who have it, are 20% more likely to be single than others, have lower levels of the feel-good chemical serotonin, which makes people less comfortable in close relationships.

In addition, they’re more likely to be neurotic and suffer from depression.

Although this is considered a scientific study by probably some really smart people in China, it is hard to believe this research because if someone wants to be in a relationship, they could just be going after the wrong type of person. These traits seem like psychological issues that require the help of a professional, rather than a gene specifically tied to having a romantic relationship.

True, some people are just naturally hard to get close to, either because they are more reserved, focused on a career or fear getting hurt. Upbringing and life experiences also play a part. It doesn’t mean they were BORN to be single.

Instead of admitting that you may carry this alleged “singleton gene” because relationships just don’t work for you, try to do things differently. Date a different type of person, don’t settle for something you would’ve in the past. If you typically lost interest after three dates, go on one or two more dates, just to see. The gene only exists in you if you believe it does.

Ashley M. Papa