Could having lots of sex really make you unhappy? Well there is a study that says, YES, it can make you unhappy.
Researchers at Carnegie Mellon have found that frequent sex can often lack spontaneity, romance and desire. To put it simply, it gets boring.
They argue that sex is more about the ‘quality’ than ‘quantity’ and that having sex too often can make some couples tired all together.
For the study, one group of couples was instructed to have LOTS of sex: doubling their frequency. Another group was told not to change anything about the amount of sex they were having. Results show that the couples instructed to have more sex, led to a decrease in happiness. They later also reported lower sexual desire and a decrease in sexual enjoyment. This was because the increased frequency led to a decline in actually wanting and enjoying sex.
However, what this comes down to is when couples are actually forced to have more sex, the desire to have it wanes. It’s important that couples initiate it themselves and actually want to do it more often.
One researcher saying, “’If we ran the study again, we would try to encourage subjects into initiating more sex in ways that put them in a sexy frame of mind, perhaps with hotel rooms or Egyptian sheets, rather than directing them to do so.” (Because Egyptian sheets would turn anyone on)
Despite the research, any expert will tell you how important sex is in a relationship. As time goes by, the desire to actually want to have sex decreases more quickly than the enjoyment of actually having it.
It’s not really the sex that makes people unhappy, it’s when it feels like an obligation or a chore. If sex starts to feel like a chore in your relationship, then there may be even bigger problems.
So, instead of focusing on increasing sexual frequency to the levels they had at the start of the relationship, couples may want to work on creating an environment that actually sparks their desire and makes the sex that they do have even more fun.
-Ashley M. Papa