It’s better to settle for mediocre than wait for a Grade A mate, says this study from Michigan State University.
Ready for the explanation?
Researchers find that instead of holding out for someone who makes you 100% happy, it makes more sense to go for someone who fits in your needs and goals. Primitive humans were likely forced to bet on whether or not they could find a better mate. They could either choose to mate with the first, potentially inferior, companion and risk inferior offspring, or they could wait for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect to come around.
Another obvious reason, if people choose to wait, they risk never being with anyone and never having children. The researchers add that in the hopes of finding someone better, we should not forget about those who might be compatible enough.
Waiting for something better to come along and not settling for less than you deserve are different things. If the person you’re with isn’t making you happy, aren’t you better off just being alone? It is understandable that the longer you wait, the greater the chances of never being with anyone, but it still shouldn’t mean you should settle; because we all know what happens with unhappy couples…infidelity & more problems!
Women (and men) are often told to lower their standards if they want to find someone. There’s nothing wrong with being picky. People should be picky. But it’s not about lowering standards; it is about realizing what it is you really need that will make you happy, long-term. A good looking partner, who drives a hot car and maybe owns a house in the Hamptons isn’t really what will make you happy in the end. It’s about being with someone who treats you with respect, is fun, loyal, caring and anything else that is just non-negotiable for you.
This is the person you are going to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH! Don’t you want them to be at least the majority perfect in your eyes? Who goes into a marriage thinking “he’s aight, it’s either him or possibly no one”?
I hear from many couples that it wasn’t until later on in the relationship, that they realized the person they were with, really was their Mr./Mrs. Perfect. So if Mr./Mrs. Okay doesn’t become your Mr./Mrs. Perfect, maybe it’s time to start looking for that greener grass. Aight?
– Ashley M. Papa