>Why Do We Close Our Eyes While Kissing?

Science may have the answer as to why we close our eyes when we kiss.  While studying how visual stimuli can interfere with the senses, researchers at the University of London deduced that the study’s findings could also explain why people like to close their eyes while kissing.

 

For the study, volunteers were asked to simultaneously perform a visual search task of varying difficulty levels, while also reacting to the presence or absence of a vibration to their hand.  Researchers found that participants’ sensitivity to the vibration was reduced among those who had the more challenging visual search.

 

Study author, Polly Dalton, told Medical Daily that, “Our research found that engaging in a more demanding visual task reduced people’s sensitivity to tactile sensations.  This does imply that reducing visual demands (for example, by shutting your eyes) can improve tactile awareness, and this could be one of the reasons that people shut their eyes when kissing.”

 

In other words, kissing with our eyes open feels strange because the brain is doing too much, which hinders pleasure.  So, to not lose out on the sensations associated with kissing, certain sensory sacrifices must be made—in this case, our sight.

>Prince Charming, Happily Ever After, And Other Relationship Myths You Need To Ditch

It was destined for Cinderella to be rescued by her Prince Charming and live happily ever after, so why can’t this happen for the rest of us?  Because believing in such relationship fantasies can destroy your chances for REAL LOVE.  That, according to relationship expert and author of “The Heart of the Fight”, Dr. Judith Wright.

 

“Searching for your ‘one true love’ and believing that you’ll have a perfect fairy tale courtship doesn’t allow for mistakes, fights, and the disappointments that come with real relationships,” Wright says.  “Do yourself a favor and get rid of the fantasies that destroy your opportunity for real love.”

 

 

Here are 9 relationships myths that will derail your love life and the better ways to look for LOVE:

 

  • Myth #1: Prince Charming Exists.  Reality: He doesn’t.  Neither does his white horse and sword.  Plus, a man THAT charming, is likely a sociopath.  Wright says to look instead for ‘Prince Values’ or ‘Prince Substance’ like caring, loyalty and generosity.  “Looking for Prince Charming rarely leads to a king and queen ruling their realm equally with satisfaction and fulfillment,” she says.

READ: ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM PRINCE CHARMING SYNDROME? 

 

  • Myth #2: You’re A Princess That Needs To Be Rescued. Reality: Where there is a rescuer, there is also a victim—a perfect formula for drama.  “Rescuing leads to dependence and resentment because the person being rescued will eventually need to heal themselves and then the entire foundation for the relationship falls apart,” says Wright.  Instead, find someone who builds you and up and makes you grow as a person.

 

  • Myth #3: A Frog Can Turn Into A Prince. Reality: He’s not going to change for you.  If he’s not who you want him to be now, don’t think anything will be different with some TLC from you. Wright says, “It’s great to believe in someone’s potential, but if you don’t have evidence of good stuff now (and if he’s not actively working on it in a realistic way) don’t think it will come later.”  Instead, dump him and find someone who doesn’t need “changing”.  You don’t have time for that anyway.

 

  • Myth #4: “If We’re Meant To Be, We’ll Never Fight.” Reality: It doesn’t matter how in sync two people are, no relationship is perfect.  And chances are if you’re not “fighting”, feelings and concerns are being bottled up.  “Overcoming conflict is an inherent part of relationship growth. Fighting is how you can get to know each other, forge stronger bonds, and become more intimate. Avoid fighting and you avoid intimacy,” says Wright.  In other words, don’t be afraid to fight…maturely.

 

  • Myth #5: “There is One True Love For Each Person.” Reality:  If you believe this, you’ll likely never find the person.  “Studies show that people who think they have a soul mate out there are less likely to work on the relationship when tension surfaces.  They figure they picked the wrong one and move on,” says Wright.  Instead, be open and give people and relationships a chance to take shape.

 

  • Myth #6: “…and they lived happily ever after.”  Reality:  You’re responsible for your own happiness.  Wright says, “Try to live happily ever after and you miss some of the most satisfying aspects of a relationship; the profound intimacy of crying your eyes out in your partner’s arms, sharing your frustrations and being understood, or working through tough times to forge a stronger bond.”  Instead, vow to living “deeply ever after” by sharing your light side and your dark side.  That is the real key to satisfying, intimate, loving relationships, she says.

READ: WILL YOUR BOYFRIEND MAKE A GREAT (OR AWFUL) HUSBAND?

 

  • Myth #7: “It was destined.” Reality: You create your own destiny with the choices you make. By over-romanticizing your relationship it’s likely you won’t work on it, says Wright.  Instead, challenge your partner, or do what you need to do to make it great. “It absolves you of responsibility of your own choice, which may make it likely for you to not take responsibility to make the relationship what it could be,” she says.

 

  • Myth #8: Physical Chemistry Is Needed To Fall In Love. Reality: Physical chemistry is great and is usually heightened in the beginning of a relationship, but a great relationship is more than just SEX.  It’s important to also connect emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Instead, Wright advises to focus on someone’s mind, their humor, their kindness – and not just their looks.

READ: HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP ONCE THE SEX IS GONE

 

  • Myth #9: A Cinderella Love Story. Reality: Cinderalla had to pretend to be someone she wasn’t to make her Prince Charming fall in love with her.  Do you really want to spend eternity with a man who fell in love with you when you were pretending to be someone you’re not? Instead, be yourself and fall for someone who respects you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be. Says Wright: “Otherwise, don’t blame them when they get disillusioned a year into the marriage when your true self is revealed.”

 

 

>You Can’t Put A Price Tag On Love, But Maybe You Should

It’s true what they say: “You can’t put a price tag on LOVE”. Maybe that’s why guys spend a small fortune on engagement rings. A University of Colorado Boulder study reveals that LOVE causes us to abandon budgets when purchasing sentimental objects for loved ones.

 

From cupcakes, to engagement rings, the study found that when shopping for such gifts, people will opt for the more expensive option—even when items in question are of the same quality.

 

In one experiment, when participants were presented two engagement rings—one more expensive with a bigger carat and the other less expensive with a smaller carat—the test subjects almost always chose the more expensive option. Besides passing up the less expensive, people would refrain from seeking out the lower prices all together. They would even avoid negotiating steep price tags!

 

Lead author of the study and associate professor of marketing and psychology at CU-Boulder, Peter McGraw, said, “People’s buying behavior changes when they’re making purchases out of love because it feels wrong to engage in cost-saving measures. People abandon cost-saving measures when it comes to sentimental buys because they want to avoid having to decide what is the right amount of money to spend on a loving relationship.” In other words, they can’t put a price tag on their LOVE.

 

But, just because we’re willing to burn a whole in our wallet for a loved one, doesn’t mean we’ll love them more or less. In fact, a separate study out of Emory University found that men who spent $2,000 to $4,000 on a rock were more likely to wind up divorced than men who spent $500 to $2,000. The same also applies for weddings. Couples who spent more than $20,000 to tie the knot were 3.5 times more likely to split than those who spent under $10,000.

 

While not putting a price tag on LOVE may seem romantic, if your purchasing outside your means, than you’re just being dumb.

 

“It’s important to be aware of this tendency not to seek cost savings because, over a lifetime, consumers make many purchases that are symbolic of love – whether for weddings, funerals, birthdays, anniversaries and even potlucks,” said McGraw. “The loss of savings can really add up and put people in compromising financial situations.”

 

The most common reason for a marriage’s end is financial stress, after all. So spend wisely, Lovebirds…

>A Little Touch Can Go A Long Way

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Valentine’s Day is just days away and it turns out, couples are failing at doing the one, simple and inexpensive thing that instantly brings two people closer: touching each other.

 

Recent findings in a new Touch Initiative survey by K-Y and The Kinsey Institute finds that Americans are touch-starved. Here are some key findings:

 

87% of men and women in committed relationships rated touch as very or extremely important to building intimacy. Yet 34% of people say they’re not touched enough.

74% of people prefer to engage in regular or intimate touch (with their partner) rather than talking without touching (10%). However, almost one in 3 people engage in talking more often than touching.

86% of couples who did touch intimately, more than once a day, were more likely to be very or extremely satisfied with their relationship compared to 72% of the general population.

 

“Touch is important for sustaining a healthy relationship, but it’s also necessary for our feelings of connection, safety and overall well-being,” says Associate Director for Research and Education at The Kinsey Institute, Dr. Justin R. Garcia. In other words, touch is critical to our happiness. “People who experience regular loving touch benefit from increased oxytocin levels, which has been associated with lower heart rates and lower blood pressure, and over time can decrease a person’s risk for many serious health ailments,” he says.

 

So if touch is THAT important, what are couples risking by not touching each other enough? Renowned sex and relationship expert, Dr. Laura Berman, says, “The [Touch Initiative] survey shows that 88% of people would like to be touched at least once a week, yet so many couples come to see me because their relationship is being threatened by a lack of intimacy.”

 

Berman says that touch can be the first step to helping couples build intimacy.

 

“Touching to connect and inspire intimacy can be as simple as holding hands or stroking the back of someone’s neck. Connection comes from an accumulation of small gestures, and if it’s a loving touch, the specific type of touch isn’t as important as the actual act of touching,” she says.

 

So, next time you’re walking or driving together, hold each other’s hand. Or, touch legs when sitting next to each other. You never know where that little touch will take you.

 

The complete Touch Initiative survey:

>A Love Affair With Spending On Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day has come a long way since the day-of-love was first enacted back in the middle ages, when friends and lovers exchanged hand written letters and poems. Fast forward hundreds of years to today, where Valentine’s Day has become the third largest consumer holiday in the United States.

 

According to a new study by Wallethub, Americans will spend a total of $19.7 billion this year on cards, chocolates, flowers…with the average Valentine’s Day reveler spending about $146.84 on their love.

 

So, whether you love or hate the holiday, are single, taken or still not sure of your status, the numbers show how much of an impact Cupid has on our nation’s economy.

 

Here are some other fascinating findings about this romantic day noted in the survey:

 

53%: Of women say they would break up with their significant other if they got nothing for Valentine’s Day.
14 Mil: Proposals are made on Valentine’s Day.
1 in 5: People who will buy Valentine’s Day gifts for their pets.
250 Mil: Roses produced for Valentine’s Day.

 

Here’s another fun & factual infographic:
valentine-by-the-numbers2016-v6

>Majority Of People Would Travel With A New Lover After Just 1 Month Of Dating

They say if you really want to get to know a person take a trip together because it will reveal the good, the bad, and the ugly about someone. Think about it. You’re spending a lot of time with that one person—standing in lines, splitting bills, deciding what time to get off the beach. This is the time when you see them outside their normal routine and often pushed out of their comfort zone.

 

“You might learn that together you’re a good team and you may return home closer than ever, says associate professor of psychology at James Madison University, Dr. Jaime Kurtz. “But traveling with someone might reveal things that you simply don’t like and never knew before: a fear of new cultural experiences and a general sense of closed-mindedness; excessive rigidity and an inability to compromise or deviate from routines,” she writes in a piece for Psychology Today.

 

Since traveling together can make or break a relationship, does it make more sense to wait to take that first getaway with someone new? Doesn’t appear so. According to a new survey by Expedia and the research company, GfK, a whopping 30% of people would take a trip with someone they’ve only been dating for 1 to 3 months.

 

The Expedia Heat Index survey of more than 1,000 American travelers also reveals:

25% would wait 4 to 8 months to travel with a new partner
15% would wait more than a full year
10% would take an overnight trip with a new partner within the first month
4% would take the trip on the first date

 

And, heartbreaks do happen on getaways with 4% of those surveyed having ended a relationship while traveling with their partner and another 4% say they have considered doing so.

 

Before going on a trip together, be honest about your “travel personality”. For example, do you sleep in or get up early to make the most of the day? Would you rather lay on the beach all day or take excursions?

 

Kurtz advises new travel partners to be clear about your need for alone time and also about your specific interests and goals for the trip.

 

“If you do find yourself in conflict while traveling, it is best to address it as soon as possible. After you’ve identified a specific problem, approach your partner with a calm, level-headed mindset,” she says.

 

If you let your lover know of your travel quirks ahead of time, it may help avoid arguments on the trip and a potential breakup when you both get back.

>You’re Not Official Until You’re “Netflix Official”

Kind of makes the whole concept of “Netflix and Chill” not seem so bad.

 

Meeting the parents, moving in together, changing your Facebook relationship status, sharing passwords. These are just some of the steps that make a relationship official. But, you’re apparently not official until you and your partner are “Netflix Official”.

 

According to a new survey by Netflix, 51% of respondents feel sharing their Netflix account information is a very big step towards a serious relationship. And, a majority say that they wait until they are dating exclusively to do so. Why is this such a big deal for couples? Probably because they get to see your recently watched list, which can help determine if you and your mate have “show compatibility”.

 

Because of what Netflix calls, “Show Goggles” (think beer goggles except the drastic change in one’s attractiveness is based on taste in TV shows, not alcohol consumption) the study found that a quarter of respondents find someone more attractive based on the shows they watched.

 

Some more highlights from the study include:

• 58% have added shows & movies to their profile to attract someone
• 27% insist show compatibility is important
• 58% say they bond over Netflix

 

So now if you ever get asked to “Netflix and Chill”, perhaps the other person is actually trying to determine if you’re spouse material and is not just looking to hook up…

Credit: Netflix

Credit: Netflix

>The PETA Commercial Ad Execs Don’t Want You To See On Game Day

When People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) submitted an uber-steamy commercial about going vegan to air during the Super Bowl, ad executives—-after cooling off—-deemed it too explicit for television, according to Fortune.

 

The ad entitled “Last Longer”, shows two side-by-side sex scenes. One, of a woman having sex with a meat-eater; the second, of a different woman having sex with her vegan lover. While one woman is left unsatisfied by her carnivorous man after just a few seconds, the second couple lasts through the entire length of the commercial. Watch for yourself:

On PETA’s website, the organization claims that meat-eaters are feeling the effects of a “deflategate” in the bedroom with more than half of men between the ages of 40 and 70 having to “throw the game” because of the difficulty they have getting revved up due to cholesterol slowing down the flow of blood to the male organ.

 

This idea of opting to go vegan coincides with a recent study published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition that suggests men who exercise regularly and consume a diet rich in flavonoids (berries, citrus, red wine) may reduce their risk of developing erectile dysfunction by over 20%.

 

In a statement to Fortune, PETA says “Super Bowl 50 audiences will be missing out on comedy, sex appeal, and the lifesaving message that vegan meals can help clear clogged-up carnivores and get their blood pumping again. PETA’s edgy but crowd-pleasing TV spot shows that vegans may have a banana in their pajama pocket, just to snack on later, but they’re also really pleased to see you.”

 

PETA had another ad, “Veggie Tales”, banned from the Super Bowl back in 2009, also deemed too racy for television.

>Forget About A 2nd Date If You Make These Mistakes On The 1st

You can’t have a relationship without a first date, right? What is supposed to be a fun way to get to know another person–who could potentially be your next BF/GF–can often be awkward as hell. Whether the other person was embarrassing, annoying or rude, it doesn’t take much for the date to turn sour.

In fact, there’s a lot of little factors that can ruin a first date (and ultimately determine if there will be a second). As petty as they may sound–lecturing, not asking questions, being a picky eater– they’ll still get you disqualified from the dating game in no time.

Want to know some other common first date mistakes to avoid? READ MORE:

Mom Makes Young Son Take Her Out On “Dates” To Teach Him About Chivalry, Respecting Women

A former “16 and Pregnant” reality star is sparking a bit of controversy for how she teaches her 6-year-old son about chivalry. Nikkole Paulun, 22, says she and her son, Lyle, go on a “date” once a month that HE pays for with his allowance. In a post on Facebook, she writes, “He opens doors for me, pulls out my chair, talks about his day & asks me how mine was, pays the bill with money he earned by doing chores, and even tips the waiter/waitress. By doing this I am teaching him how to treat a lady.” In addition, Paulun says her son learns about proper table manners, as well as, the value of money.

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The unique parenting style makes sense to this single mom, forced to act as both mother and father. With no father around, who else is going to teach her son about chivalry? Paulun goes on to explain that, “As a woman who has been abused and treated like crap in the past, it’s extremely important to me that I teach my son how to show respect. Too many men these days have no idea how to treat women or how to take them on a nice date. It’s nice to know my son won’t be one of them.”

Her method seems to be working. In a recent interview with ABC News, Paulun says she’s seen him use his politeness everywhere. “He will ask people who come over questions about their day or their life. It’s so cute,” she says.

Responses to Nikkole’s post ranged from praise, with one woman saying, “It is very important to teach him these lessons. He will make a woman very happy one day!”.

However, many called her method bad parenting, with one person saying, “I get the idea behind it, but it’s a little unfair to suggest that unless you make him do that then he’ll turn out to be a bad guy when it comes to women.”

It may not be the best idea, but it certainly is not a bad idea. Surely, the boy would rather buy toys with his allowance than a meal for his mother. (Or maybe he does like buying his mom dinner.) And we know that chivalry is a lot more than taking a girl out for a meal. But, just the fact that she is teaching her son manners, generosity and is spending quality time with him is a lot more than some parents do these days. That, alone, may be enough to set this 6-year-old on the right path.