‘Unfriending’ Your Partner Will Make Your Relationship Better

Posted on September 9, 2015 by Ashley Papa

It’s normal today for couples to blame “Facebook” for the collapse of their relationship, even divorce. There are studies that suggest that heavy Facebook and social media sites play a significant role in marital dissatisfaction. So, in an effort to thwart a breakup and keep your relationship strong, one marriage therapist says that couples need to ‘unfriend’ each other and should even consider deleting Facebook if they want to stay together.

Facebook makes it easier for people to do stuff behind their partner’s back; whether it’s chatting with someone else, friending a crush or staying in touch with an ex. But it’s more than that devious, nontransparent stuff. Relationship therapist Ian Kerner, who deleted his Facebook account, says that ‘unfriending’ your partner could bring back more mystery and intrigue. “I realized for a little while with my own wife that I didn’t really want her to be my friend on Facebook. I didn’t want all of that extra information. If anything I wanted less information — I wanted more mystery and more unpredictability,” he says.

And, the constant use of mobile phones means couples are spending less time actually talking to one another, which leads to miscommunication. In fact, 25% of married or partnered adults who text, have texted their partner when they were both in the same room, according to the Pew Research Center. The same number, have felt that their partner was distracted by their mobile phone and 8% have had arguments about how much time their partner spends online.

While a lot of how one reacts to their partner’s social media usage depends on their own wants and self-esteem, often times, there is a mismatch. Some may see their Facebook use as innocent and fun, while their partner sees it as an avoidance technique or a gateway to infidelity. Kerner suggests the occasional digital detox if you can’t give up Facebook all together.

If you find that you can’t delete your partner from Facebook out of fear of what they’re doing behind your back, then you have bigger problems. A cheater is going to cheat regardless of whether you’re coupled up on Facebook or not. But if ditching the Book could better your relationship, and you value your relationship and partner, than it shouldn’t be an issue, right?

Sexting More Common Among Adults, Which Is A Good Thing, Says Study

Posted on August 11, 2015 by Ashley Papa

“Sexting” gets a bad rap these days. But more and more adults are reportedly doing it, and that may not be such a bad thing. A recent study by Drexel University’s Women’s Health Psychology Lab shows that 88% of respondents send ‘sext’ messages with 8 out of 10 people surveyed admitting to sexting in the past year. Researchers also found that with the increased levels of sexting, came greater sexual satisfaction, especially for those in a relationship.

“This research indicates that sexting is a prevalent behavior that adults engage in for a variety of reasons. These findings show a robust relationship between sexting and sexual and relationship satisfaction,” said Emily Stasko, a clinical psychology doctoral student in Drexel University’s College of Arts and Sciences.

The survey also asked about attitudes toward sexting and found that people who sexted more saw the behavior as more fun and carefree, and had higher beliefs that sexting was expected in their relationships.

Sexting has received growing negative attention, often associated as being ‘risky’ behavior. But as the researchers point out, this attitude fails to account for the potential positive effects of open sexual communication with a partner. A separate study on ‘sexting’ done by the University of Michigan similarly found that the act is not associated as risky behavior, since most respondents that received sexts also sent them… which implies a reciprocal relationship.

The bottom line is that the study proves sexting is now, pretty much viewed as a healthy component of modern adult relationships. However, know what you’re getting into when sending a ‘sext’. Anything that gets sent into the cybersphere, has the potential to be seen by a third party, even if it is just intended for your loved one.

And when it comes to sexting etiquette, make sure the person you’re dating/texting is into exchanging scandalous pictures. Just because you may be engaging in some heavy text-flirting doesn’t mean you now have the go-ahead to send pictures of your junk or goodies.

10 Dating Sites You Never Knew Existed

Posted on January 28, 2015 by Ashley Papa

Singleparentmeet.com: Dating for Single Parents
Trying to have a dating life while also being a single parent can be challenging. Especially when you meet someone you really like, and then have to break it to them that you have a kid. For many, this can send your date running for the hills. Now you can meet others just like you, without having to find a babysitter. The site claims to have a pretty split ratio of male and female users and is most popular with those between 30 and 49 years old.

Misstravel.com: Dating for Attractive Travelers
MissTravel.com is the world’s first and only travel dating website. Instead of the conventional date, such as the movies or dinner, singles travel to new and exotic destinations together in hopes of finding romance. Launched in 2012, the site boasts over 450,000 members worldwide, inspiring over 300,000 trips domestically and internationally. There are the Generous members who have the money and create the trip, but need the attractive companions. In come the Attractive members, who can browse the trips and travel for free with the Generous member.

Farmersonly.com: Dating for Farmers
Because city folk just don’t get it. Ya’ll probably seen these ads on your local channels targeting rural Americans. Dating can be hard when hundreds of acres separate you from your neighbor and there is a Tornado watch every day in the spring. Here, singles bond over their love for livestock and tractors. It is for those that prefer the simpler, country life. First date suggestions include state fairs, tractor pulls and chasing tornadoes.

Cougared.com: Dating for Cougars (and cubs)
The site specializes in older women in search of younger men, and men wanting those older women. It’s for those who don’t want to feel like an old creeper at a bar swimming with young blood. Older women know what they want, and cougars love the energy and virility of younger guys. And the “cubs” like her life experience and appreciate her no-drama attitude. Or, they just want her money.

Beardiful.com: Dating for Beard Lovers
Have a secret love for those Paul Bunyan types? Check out beardiful.com where guys with beards can find those who are all about their scruff. It looks like the site is currently in Beta, but with the growing trend of “lumbersexuals”, this site is surely to attract those wanting to date a guy who looks like he knows how to use an ax. First date suggestions include, chopping wood, log rolling and shopping for flannel at Cabelas.

Gk2gk.com: Dating for Geeks
With their high tech geek scoring system, geeky singles are matched up in the most sophisticated of ways, like, by interests. Whether it’s a shared love for Star Trek conventions or playing Magic, the website admits that Geeks are a special breed, whose interests just aren’t the same as most people’s. Traditional dating websites just don’t work for them. First date suggestions include dinner & the comic book store, or the Observatory. (star gazing would actually be cool)

Big-beautiful-dates.com: Dating for Curvy Women
For those with a lot to love. This dating site is for the big and the beautiful and the men who love them. Single men write about what they like about bigger and confident women. At least with this site, you know what you are getting. You don’t go on it, unless you want a curvy girl.

Bikerkiss.com: Dating for Bikers
If Harleys, leather and tattoos are more your style, check out bikerkiss.com. They claim to be the first, largest and most effective dating site for biker singles. Whether you got a chopper, a crotch rocket or an old vintage Indian, this is the place to come for a badass time. I’m no biker chick, but this idea makes sense because bonding over a shared passion is one of the greatest strengths in any relationship.

Stonersingles.net: Dating for Stoners
Like weed? Single? This is the dating site for you. It’s for those who live the 420 lifestyle, 24/7, 365. You no longer have to go through the awkwardness of dating those who scoff at the thought of hitting the bong. And one thing you can guarantee with this site is that everyone is probably really friendly. Suggested first date ideas include hula hooping in Union Square or Venice Beach (depending on your coast), participating in a drum circle or playing disc golf.

Shydatingservice.com: Dating for Shy People
Feel like you just can’t compete with that loud, obnoxious, bubbly blonde or that over-aggressive, boisterous Suit surrounded by the ladies? If you would rather be at home on the couch with a book than at a packed, loud sports bar on a Saturday night, it greatly reduces your chances of meeting someone. But if screaming for attention just isn’t your style, this website is perfect for the shyer types. Now you can meet people who are just as quiet and introverted. I can only imagine that the average time between making a connection and actually seeing that person in the flesh is around a year for the shy couple.